Conventional is a good fallback position isn’t it?

Conventional is a good fallback position isn’t it?

I actually don’t want to think of myself as being a conventional woman, because I think I do things differently. In fact I not your conventional woman, while I might enjoy the kitchen and being a mother.

I enjoy being crazy and doing what makes me happy, not doing everything by the book. Being conventional is safe; it secures one’s heart making them believe that they are doing everything that is expected of them.  However doing routine and what is expected of you, always puts one on the safe side and makes them feel comfort in knowing that they are safe.

So I suppose we can go crazy and act as we please, but when things go bad, we go back to being conventional. This is a perfect way to position ourselves and be accepted in society.

2011 for me

This year might have not yet come to an end, but it is safe to highlight events in it.

1.       January my kids went back to school

2.       February I lost my nephew, well it is safe to say my family lost a dear child, a cousin, a grandchild and a friend to all those who knew warm heart. This month in 2011 tested my faith and my spirituality, for I have never felt such pain.

3.       March, we laid my nephew to rest, since he passed away on the 27^th of February. March was yet heavy to the heart. This was truly a testing month, waking up, knowing I’ll never see my nephew again, took its tow on me.

4.       April, the month of my graduation, I had mixed emotions. My husband couldn’t make it to my graduation and I was disappointed as he has been with me thru my journey. It was still a proud moment, an achievement worth celebrating.

5.       May is my birthday month so it is automatically that I treat this month with favour.

6.       June, school work an pressure to perform, what a hectic month.  An emotional month in the family, where we had to perform a ritual of sharing my nephew’s clothes. Symbolic to the end of our grieving, so that we could try to find peace in his passing away. Strange enough, the day was a fun family event. We got to share jokes and stories about him, instead of tears.

7.       July  was just a month, can’t really single out an event

8.       August, my cousin left for Pretoria/Tshwane,I was very happy for her achievement, but sad that she was going away.

This year thus far, has had its fair of share of sadness, but I have not lost faith that good things are still to come.

You can’t chase two rabbits at the same time

You can’t chase two rabbits at the same time

The old saying goes:  If you chase two rabbits, both will escape. With today’s modern times we find ourselves forced to chase two rabbits at the same time.

As much as we find ourselves chasing two rabbits all the time, it is very hard to catch them at the same time. You might have caught one, and the other one runs away. Multi tasking comes with a heavy price most of the times. This especially impacts on the modern woman, who wants to do it all. I mean achieve her career goals and still be the perfect wife and mother. Women are tired of just chasing one rabbit, or at times are forced to chase more than one rabbit.

It has become doable, but at a price in most cases, as a focused career woman cannot focus as much as she would want to in raising her children. It was made easy for women in the days gone by, however it also marginalized them, as it limited them from powerful positions in societies around the world. So it was up to a few women to start by showing other women across the world that it can be done.

So if I were to be asked about catching two rabbits at the same time, I would say, depends if you want to hold both the rabbits dearly in your arms.  

Cross your heart and hope to die

Cross your heart and hope to die

Keeping secrets is proving to be a challenge for the average person. It can be that lawyers, doctors and Priest in the Roman Catholic are bound by some very strict rules. If you ask an ordinary person to keep a secret, it really is asking way too much.

Now if we look at secrets we expect people to carry to the grave for us, it can be a bit too much to carry. Besides we are humans, and some information’s just bottles up inside of us and we just want to burst. So next time you want to share a secrete with a friend, ask yourself if you are being fare by expecting them to keep such a burning issue to themselves. Please don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with trusting a friend, but don’t judge a friend if they happen to spill the beans, depending to whom though. Perhaps it became too much for them to bear and they just had to burst out and share it.

Maybe next time try telling two people, and alert them both that you share with them, and they should feel free to discuss the issue at hand, should they feel a burning desire. A burning secretes can cause you stress and that is not good for the heart.

Your secret is safe with me…shhhh

“Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you only have one idea” (Alain)

“Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you only have one idea” (Alain)

Well this quote is what it is and it says what it says. We all have ideas, we all have dreams, and we all aspire for greatness.

In my opinion, having one idea limits us to more possibilities that are right in front of us, Having one business one idea can prove to be dangerous than having more than one business idea. However one might argue that if you really want that one ide to come true, then stick to it, give it your everything. So maybe one can have one idea, but then they would have to spend the rest of their life turning that idea into a reality.

In my little mind ideas are with us all the time, but then again maybe, just maybe the many ideas that roam around our heads can be dangerous, because we don’t know how to channel them.  Those ideas can easily mislead as they make us believe we have more than enough time, trying out each and every idea.  Perhaps,we need not relax with an idea, rather act on the idea, and give the idea life. You might just find out that that idea is dying to be out there to live.

Our world grows every day because of ideas; it’s a process of thought, then and idea, being turned into action. So maybe we should try having more ideas than one, but quickly act on them.

Fantasy Holiday

Fantasy Holiday

They say dreams do come true, oh well I haven’t given up on going on a super fun holiday.

I want to go to some Caribbean Island for a fun filled holiday, where I can just let go and discover the person I didn’t know existed in me. OK, I’ll have to admit movies can be very influential hey,but what have I got too loose in dreaming about a fun filled break.

I want two weeks where I can just have fun in abundance. My first week would be filled with craziness with my two best girls. We’ll go partying, tasting each and everything on the Island. The week would be filled with sleepless nights. I would want to go on bout trips, enjoy their sunsets. Play at the beach in the middle of the night without fear of being mugged or some crap like that, Experience their exotic foods and life. Appreciate their cultures and the way they do things.

Then my 2^nd week would be spending in India, yes influenced by movies, but in truth there’s something peaceful about India. This week would be spent mostly in meditating and listening to my inner voice, finding my inner peace. I would go to their holy places, and get lost in a world of simplicity. My trip here would be to connect with my spirituality, which tends to be neglected so much. I would learn to be still and not fear stillness. I know this place has slums that are heart breaking, but I guess even the people in living in such conditions in India would help me find the world of tranquillity.

Yes my fantasy holiday stand at that for now, I might wake up with a different fantasy, but right now, I know this is where I would love to see myself discover some magic.

Have you figured out the second head fake?

Have you figured out the second head fake?

Have I really figured out the second head is fake, well since one is only born with one head, clearly the second head would be fake. The second head would be fake because it’s not natural. Again it could be figured out that the weaves are fake and not real.

As humans we have discovered so many wonders, one of them for me, would be the fake hair (well some of it is said to be real human hair), but it’s fake if not originally yours. So we have fake heads, but I don’t think people now know which head is fake and which head is real. The fake head make break or build your confidence. Some people have come to be costumed to the fake hair, they can’t stand to see their real heads, and they bore them and equally embrace them.

It is hard noting the second head fake, because it has become so real, we have come to accept and embrace fake things, rather than the real things. We find comfort in them, because they give us a sense of fantasy, some sort of escape from reality. So we may never figure out the real heads of this life, because we have looked down on them, and they no more matter those around us.

Childhood place

I grew up in a place of wonder, a place filled with beauty and freshness. I long for the place I once called home. This place was fit enough for a young girl with dreams, for it gave me imaginations, I could turn it into any place in the world.

This place is in the Free State and Qwaqwa is the name. I love Qwaqwa  up to this day, when I speak of childhood home I beam with fond memories of a peaceful place. She had amazing mountains and small waterfalls. I remember spring time used to be spring time, flowers all so colourful. The place I dream of is the place that we rolled in snow during the cold winter times, yes we played in the snow and teachers would allow us time to roll in the snow.

I’m particularly fond of my primary school, which allowed such a wonderful view and the nature that surrounded it was breath taking. Not far from the school, were the fresh river and the forest that was home to many different small creatures. I remember our picnics on the mountains and the forest. Birthdays that were celebrated there were unforgettable in every sense. Children were given the right to be children and experience nature to its fullest. We might have not appreciated what nature had right in front of us, but now that I know not everything in Qwaqwa is the way it was during my childhood. It breaks my heart, politics, greed and poverty took over the once beautiful place that pride itself with natural beauty.

In my heart Qwaqwa will always remain my jewel, it remains my perfect place of my childhood, the place that created ever lasting memories. I plan on returning to the place of my childhood, but is my heart ready to see the broken promises of this once beautiful place, this place I called paradise.

betrayal

betrayal

I’m scared. I’m scared of my own love. How it has betrayed me. My own love. Why? I keep asking myself. Why did my love, love someone else more than it loved me. Why such betrayal from my own love. I can’t comprehend it.

My own love led me to believe loving you more was better than loving myself. It led me to believe you were better than me, you were everything and I was not. Why? Why do feel betrayed by you???

My own love fooled me into letting go of what I believed in, led me to distrust my intuition. Why?? My own love, why???

Where does one draw the line if even the love for myself won’t guide me. In my own love’s betrayal I struggle to love you again. What if my hear t forgets to draw the line between loving myself and loving you more.  I’ve felt it before, I’ve heard it before. I feel like I've lost myself. I see myself about to take on the same path that has left my very same loving heart drenched.

Can I do this again??? Can my heart betray me again… will it know the line, that fine line between loving me and loving another more than me… will it know?

 

How hard it is to follow instructions?

How hard it is to follow instructions?

How are often are we faced with instructions to do something, but we end up doing the opposite? Well I can’t really say how many because I know I am guilty of it, not one or twice, way too much.

At times we don’t follow instructions, wanting to be creative and claim that we were just taking the initiative that we’ve been told to follow. We also don’t follow instructions, because we just don’t listen.  We are never aware of the consequence that arises when we don’t follow instructions, especially of things that have to do with technology.

Not long ago I almost went back to a shop to return six litters long-life milk, because I realise with opening the first litter, that it was not sealed. I thought maybe a member of the family might have opened the milk, and forgot to put in the fridge, so I let it slide. However I still had questions. It happened that I open milk number two, and I had the same issue.  Now you can imagine my patience running way ahead of me, and me losing my cool. I decided to stay calm, and go back and make them aware of the problem with their lids.

To my surprise when I decided to look at the milk container at the back, the instructions were there. They actually say that when twisting the lid, it breaks the seal. So by the time I open the lid, the milk is good to be poured. Talk about failing to follow instructions.