Be positive, Be present

Be positive, Be present

Yep, yep, yep… so life stuffs us up and its all about how when you fall no matter how many times, it’s not about the fall it’s about how many times you decide to stand up and brush yourself and move on. Blah, blah, blah

It’s all about being positive… being present

So I embark on my on the journey of stopping to do the things that I don’t like… hahahahahahaa I thought this would have been natural. Why on earth would I be doing anything I don’t like, nonetheless I’m being positive here… I want to be present so here I surround myself with people who bring me up, revising my look to the world (honestly though it sucks and I see this, I feel  this… but what the hell I’m being positive here), loving myself more… oh, what a lot of bull crap, but I guess I have no choice now. So am taking it, the positive life. As I look deep in living this positive life I see that its going to be a true incline to my Mount Everest but it’s what I need in life to be able to make it, right? I need to be positive

So here I am, embarking on my new positive life.

Positive and present… that’s me now… the irony… hhahahahahaaaaa  #life

15 minutes of fame-Why would you be famous?

15 minutes of fame-Why would you be famous?

Come to think of it, we live once and that’s all. We know this because those gone before us, have never come back to testify how it is in the afterlife. Amazingly so, we take this life for granted, rather we take our selves for granted. When I think of being famous for 15 minutes, I think of something good that I could do to improve someone’s life.

Yes my 15 minutes of fame, would be me winning millions of Rands and giving them away to charities of my choice. The smile on the people receiving the money from me would be worth my 15minitues of fame. If I could get those few minutes to change someone’s misery into a smile and turn someone’s tears into a smile. Nothing would make me happier than hearing my name being mentioned for doing such great work.

I believe we all need to give to those who are less fortunate than ourselves. The fact that we have people of different classes was done on purpose. I think the creator wanted to remind us at all times to care. I can’t imagine a world where we all had the same, then it would be pretty boring; no one would care for the next. And so we were given this opportunity to love each other and have compassion for our fellow human beings. 15 minutes would be enough to spread a smile across different people with different challenges in my country. That moment would be used to make my heart felt speech, and what giving can do to each and every one of us.

Story telling by the fire place died when you died

Story telling by the fire place died when you died

Story time used to be the best time in the evenings. Children would gather around the fire place, whileuMakhulu(grandmother)  was getting ready and sitting in her comfortable position.  She would ask the younger kids to come around her. The older kids would sit further, bringing closer the younger kids. We would be drinking tea or milk with biscuits (which she only knew where they were).

Intsomi (stories) were meant to be told at night, well that’s what we believed in and that was exciting for us. Intsomi were not read from books, they were stories kept alive through the story telling of the generations.

 And if you decided to tell intsomi during the day, you had words you had to say, in order not to grow horns. My grandmother was a wise woman who told stories with morals at the end. She would tell intsomi, and then ask us what the moral of the story was. As young as I was, I always enjoyed raising my hand to answer that question. There was love in the way these stories were told to us, oh yes some were scary stories. As children stories about giant people (Amazim) used to be our horror stories. She would tell the story so you feel the chills down your spine.

I can never tell stories the way she did; I can never breathe life to each and every story the way she did. She never complained about being tired or how much work she had. She was a retired teacher, who still had former students come to her and listen to her stories.  Although I way young, the memories I carry of my grandmother’s intsomi were magical. They made a little girl feel like a princess.

A skill set called Leadership

A skill set called Leadership

“In matters of style, swim with the current: In matters of principle, stand like a rock. Jefferson

It has always been a burning debate to whetherleaders are born or made. Throughout my years of study, I have had strong arguments for each. I’m more of the believe that leaders are truly born.

They are born with a special gift that not institution can teach them, they can only enhance the gift that already exists. It might be a cliché to use nelson Rolihlahla Mandela,however he is one leader during my life time that has gracefully displayed his honourable leadership skills, with such charisma.

Nelson is well knownthroughout the world, and when he was still active in politics people would find wisdom in what he had to say. He truly was a born leader, he gave up his freedom, to stand firm on what he believed. His comrade knew they had a leader in him, and his fearless ways of approaching hard situations, made the world to notice what a good leader he was.

It can’t be easy being a leader, because you have a whole lot of people looking up to you for guidance and knowing that if you lead them astray, you take the fall. Being a leader is truly a gift, and however leaders can be good and can be dangerous. People argue people like Hitler did not qualify as leaders,but I argue that he was a leader. Yes not a good leader, he led with cruelty. However he had people believing in his visions and had people looking up to him, seeing the picture he portrayedin front of him.

A leader has a responsibility to make his followers listen and believe in his ideologies.

You’re not your condition:

You’re not your condition: 

I call him my angel, he’s my son. I carried him for 9 months to contrary believe that he’s not really human, because of his skin condition that affects the colour of his skin and his vision. Yes my last child hasalbinism. Well I can’t change people from saying he’s an Albino, I say he has albinism, because he is not his condition, he has a condition.

The word “albinism” refers to a group of inherited conditions. People with albinism have little or no pigment in their eyes, skin, or hair. They have inherited altered genes that do not make the usual amounts of a pigment called melanin. Albinism affects people from all races. Most children with albinism are born to parents who have normal hair and eye colour for their ethnic backgrounds. Sometimes people do not recognize that they have albinism. A common myth is that people with albinism have red eyes. In fact there are different types of albinism and the amount of pigment in the eyes varies. Although some individuals with albinism have reddish or violet eyes, most have blue eyes. Some have hazel or brown eyes. However, all forms of albinism are associated with vision problems. (Noah Foundation)

While most people with albinism are fair in complexion, skin or hair colour is not diagnostic of albinism. People with many types of albinism need to take precautions to avoid damage to the skin caused by the sun such as wearing sunscreen lotions, hats and sun-protective clothing.People with albinism are at risk of isolation because the condition is often misunderstood.

With all the technical information, my son has turned me into someone that is looked at when we are in public.  I had the most attention when he was a baby, we just brought curiosity to people and I guess they wanted to know, and too bad they never asked. They just stared at us. Now we have a healthy 6year old turning7 in October, and it has been a blessing raising him. He’s also at a stage of curiosity about him being different, but we answer all his questions, and trust that he grows into a confident young man, who will be able to accept that people will have perceptions about him. What he knows is that his Dad, mom and brother adore him and he’s loved by other family members. 

If I could do it all over again, I would…

If I could do it all over again, I would…

Given the chance to do it all over again, I would change the way I look at things. I would change my attitude towards life. I would change the fear side of me.

If I could do it all over again, I would still say yes over and over. I would still continue with the pregnancy with all the doubts. If I had to do it all over again, I would laugh more, worry less because I would know the worrying and stress is not worth it when all is said and done. Given the opportunity to live my life again, I would still chose the same challenges, but change the way I look into them. Change the fact that I complained about life, and I would complain less and do more.

Oh my word, I would ware more make up, I would go out get drunk and have fun. I would go back and enjoy without holding back. I would worry less of what I think society might think of me. I would let them worry about me, while I have fun. I would go back and learn that piano that walked on all those years ago, because I thought I was being rebellious. I would laugh as if it were my last breath. I would love like the world is coming to an end. I would do more charity work, participate in community building. I would obsess less about my weight and enjoy every stage of my life.

Given the opportunity, I would wake up every morning and say,”good morning life”. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t change my circumstances, but my attitude toward life.

A broken petal

A broken petal

You promised her the world, you promised to take care of her. You promised her heart would always be your priority. Then what happened, what happened to the promises, why break them.

You used to hold her, and feel her in your heart until your saw the faces of your unborn children in her eyes. You told her you would love her endlessly, you told her it would last forever. You let her hold you and feel safe in your arms. You allowed her to be weak in your eyes, to be lost in your eyes. You let her fall in love with your vey breath. You invited her to your house, which she turned into a home, but why would you not protect her, why would you not give your all to protect the very soul you claim to love so deeply that it hurts, yet feeling all so right.

She’s hearting, she’s bruised, but she still feels although love has hurt and burnt her, she still loves and will be here till the end. Her pain might make her mad, but the madness is led by the strong love she feels for you. Yet she loves you although being burnt, she still goes back, for she knows no other love and wants no other love. In your arms, is where she has found her home? She’s not weak, she’s not stupid, but she’s a woman who cares.

Listen to her bleeding heart, listen to her soft cries, and listen to her madness. This is a woman who gave up her own self to make it work with you. We might call her foolish, but she’s a rare breed that still believes in true love. She would give you her last kidney, for you she would wake up in the middle of the night to wake you up; just to tell you how much she’s happy to be your better half.

All you can do is love and protect her, protect her from what might want to hurt your family. You’re her shining armour, you’re her prince charming.  Pray that your two hearts find their way back to love. Work hard to mend that heart you broke, it is never too late. Be a better man for her, say a pray for lovers so that your souls can be brought back to love. Be patient, for you have broken her wings, understand it will take time to feel like flying. Ask the Lord to take your broken hearts and bring them home again. 

The 10 most unexpected consequences of being on line

The 10 most unexpected consequences of being on line

1.       Finding yourself addicted to social media, Smart phone is all I’ll say.

2.       Learning that there’s still so much to learn about being online and at times you feel you know nothing about being online. Basically having to keep up with changes and the language used on line.

3.       Accepting stalkers as your friends on Facebook, total nightmare

4.       A bad break up, that can end up being an online war, with private pictures taken in happier times

5.       Hackers, messing up your account and invading your privacy, and fining there is little you can do about it.

6.       Having your money being stolen from your bank account on line, OMW

7.        Forwarding a message to the wrong person, and regretting the day you were introduce to the world of online

8.       Online schemes, trying to rob people of their money. Where one is asked to give their credit card information, and they will receive their prize money. Like hello I didn’t enter any competition.

9.       Online human trafficking, sad fact but true. Ask women (of all ages) of their information promise them jobs overseas and arrange everything for them. Strange enough still ask them to deposit money into their fraudulent bank accounts.

10.   Accepting your dad on Facebook, limiting you to express your enthusiastic side.

While on line is a whole new world, a new fantastic point of view, no one to tell us no, or where to go or say we’re only dreaming. It’s a dazzling place we never knew, but when I’m way on online its crystal clear, that now I’m in a whole new world….Thanks to Peabo Bryson &Regina Belle  for their lyrics for helping me sum up my online experience. 

Barbed fences against our selves

Barbed fences against our selves

We isolate ourselves build high walls, put up high electrical fences protecting our selves. Are we really protecting our selves from criminals? Have we become a society that doesn’t trust his own neighbour?

When I go to my neighbourhood in the township, I see the high walls, and all fancy protecting walls. Well I hear it’s for nosey neighbours who can’t mind their own business. We all know that criminals are clever, they do find their way through all the expensive security we put up protecting our selves. What I find amazing is that the very protection against criminals is the very protection that can be your worst nightmare. Trying to escape a criminal that has entered your house with all the security is pretty hard. First of all your neighbours might not hear you, because of the high wall. They might hear your screams, but struggle to come to your rescue which by the time the police come to your rescue might be late.

We all know life is about taking chances and we need to safe guard ourselves, but is it really necessary to safe guard ourselves to the point of isolating ourselves. Putting the very life we are trying to safe guard in danger?

Is living in fear the ideal way of the one’s life to the fullest? Or do people feel safe once they are behind their walls/

Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses

Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses

When we are born we are all the same, soon to be influenced by our upbringing and societies that we grow up in. We learn fears and all negative emotions that go with it. We learn or rather taught such for our own good (as we are often told). Through our childhood we are taught what is right and what is wrong, and everything is defined to us according to those around us.

I believe come to learn our weaknesses and strengths as we grow, Most of the time we give more attention to our weaknesses and stay traumatized by them. As we journey throughoutlife, our perceptions are redefined at all times and influenced by our perceptions of our surroundings. Our strengths and weakness should be a subjective of us as individuals, although we know society plays a major part in this. In order for us to redefine our inner strengths and weakness without bias of any sort, we would need to remove ourselves our society’s comfort and redefine our own ideals.  If we continue to pride ourselves by defining ourselves according to society, then we limit our very own inner strength, thus leaving uncertainty. Admitting weakness is not a sign of weakness, but is a realisation that you are human, and are aware that there is a weakness, that needs not to be ignored. The weakness can be used as a sign to focus on a new strength.

I believe one’s strength is hard work that has been cultivated, and taken care of over a period of time, and now one needs to embrace the hard work. While celebrating this strength that has finally come to bloom, it would then be upon one to take the next challenge, which is the next weakness, nourish it, and be patient with it, for in time is will bloom into a strength beyond your imagination.

Alcohol Advertising

Alcohol Advertising

My mind is divided into two on this point. Advertising of alcohol on our major media platforms doesn’t really have the impact government claims it has. However I feel if alcohol advertising continues to grace our screams, our radios and billboards, there should be limitations. There should be stricter regulations.

First of all we have to acknowledge the job losses that would be created by passing of this bill. South Africa is in no stage to be cutting down jobs, it should be creating more jobs. Sport from grass roots to professional levels would also be greatly affected by this. Well we can’t really say for sure it would decrease the amount of consumption of alcohol amongst South Africans.

However I’m more on the control of how and when alcohol advertisements should be aired on our TV sets. The glamorous life it portrays could also be limited, asthis kind of advertising does have an effect on your minds. It is a known fact those strategic sessions on alcohol brands, the studies are always based on young black people. When the marketers and Advertisers get together to brain storm, their target market is young black people. That is another concerning issue for me.

We also cannot deny that high levels of alcohol abuse are increasing every day. Crime is also on the rise. ‘’we live in a culture that hero-worships celebrities. The use of the so called celebrities in alcohol has had and will likely continue affecting especially young people who hero-worship these so called celebrities.”Mpofu

An agreement can be reached between government and the liquor business people on the matter, but to simply burn it, would have a crippling effect to our economy.

List your top 200 Achievements.

List your top 200 Achievements.

1.       Being born(making it through the tunnel of life)

2.       Making it to my first Birthday

3.       Learning to the art of crying to get my way in my small world

4.       My first word “Dada’

5.       I crawled before I could walk(proud mother moment, but my achievement)

6.       My first step, which would be followed by giant steps

7.       First sentence “mamandiyinotmbiendala” “mama I’m a big girl”

8.       Potty training straight to big people’s toilet

9.       Eating by myself proud moment

10.   Tying my shoe lace

11.   Wearing my own underwire the correct way

12.   My first day at school, with my grand mother

13.   Reciting a recitation  in front of my grade1 class, word for word

14.   Counting up to 10

15.   Writing my name

16.   Writing my surname

17.   Being able to distinguish that the clock had a short arm and a long arm

18.   Being able to tell time

19.   Finding  my own way of remembering things

20.   Learning to count up to 100

21.   Be able to do my plus sums

22.   The art of subtraction

23.   Being able to multiple

24.   Mastering the secrete of division

25.   Being chosen to play the Virgin Marry

26.   Winning my first prize at Sunday school

27.    

Boys and Girls

Boys and Girls

Humans have come up with studies trying to figure out why boys are the way they are and why girls are the way they are. I agree that we’re all humans, all created in God’s image, I don’t dispute that. If well accept that we are born with different sexual reproductive organs, then why do try to uncover what really makes us different. Are we not satisfied with what is in front of us?

The belief has become widespread, particularly in the wake of the publication of international bestsellers such as John Gray's Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus that stress the innate differences between the minds of men and women. But now a growing number of scientists are challenging the pseudo-science of "neurosexism", as they call it, and are raising concerns about its implications. These researchers argue that by telling parents that boys have poor chances of acquiring good verbal skills and girls have little prospect of developing mathematical prowess, serious and unjustified obstacles are being placed in the paths of children's education.

Well I might not be so blessed to have witnessed to different sexes grow in front of my eyes, maybe I could have been given an opportunity to conduct my own study, according to my observation of my children. However I am raising boys. However as much as they are both boys, I am raising two different individuals. I am only reminded that they are boys when I help them bath, but in my eyes I see two children, who are defining their own path, discovering what makes them happy and what makes them sad.

We try so hard to find differences instead of letting nature take its course, instead of encouraging young minds to be themselves, they grow up being so conscious of their sexuality, that pressure posed to them overwhelm them. 

The elephant in the room

The elephant in the room

Who can ignore such an animal; its majestic presents can be felt by any person in a room. However there would be people who would choose not to see this elephant.

In life we see things that are wrong, but we choose to ignore them. In fact we act as if we don’t see them yet they are so transparent. We like convincing in ourselves that they don’t concern us and that we need to mind our own businesses and should not be concerned by what is out there.  If we had all chosen the mentality of ignoring the Elephant in the room, the world would in a more chaotic stage than it is now.

People like Nelson Mandela, Steven Bantu Biko, Mother Theresa and many more, decided not to ignore the elephant in their life time, theydecided to scream “Elephant in the room”, while others still ignored what was so apparent in their eyes. We see things in our everyday lives, but chose to look the other way. We smell bad smells, but we stay with the notion that they won’t affect our health.  We are terrified to be the one pointing out what is awkward in our surrounding with the fear of being castrated by our societies.

Brave men and women decide to do something in their own life times, they didn’t pretend as if nothing was going on. They knew it would have treacherous effects; however they were willing to risk their flesh for what they believed to be true in their hearts. The struggling for justice should still continue, because the elephant in the room is still in our surroundings. Children are being abused in our neighbourhoods women beaten by their partners, high levels of crimes, yet we ignore all these things. Saying they are out of our reach. 

Everybody knows but nobody really knows

Everybody knows but nobody really knows

How they reached this point, how two lovers reach this point. Everyone has their point of how they reached where they are. Amazing how everyone knows where they went wrong, yetnobody really knows where it really went wrong.

He said, he’ll love her, till their death, shesaid, she’ll stand by him through good and bad. However they both broke those promises. What happened to the love and respect they promised each other? I wish they could have given it one more chance, yes maybe they did once. However nobody has it, we all go through the storms in life, but how we ease our pains, and no one can say to the other how it is done really.

Everybody knows, but nobody really knows why it had to end, why they reached the end of their music. When did their song go off? They stopped before the music stopped. They could have continued dancing despite the noise in the room, their song was still playing. Why is it everyone had to know what was going on in their lives. I still can’t believe it came to an end, why listen to talks, why let people interrupt your song. It was your song; it was your song to dance to. Oh yes the song will have hiccups from time to time, but the important thing is the music. You let the music die when you stopped dancing, when you gave up on your song.

The pain is written all over your faces, the smiles that used to be there, all washed up by the pain, of losing your rhythm to your song. I wish you both could tell us what happened, because I still don’t believe that people really know what happened. People have their own music, and some con stop, fix their rhythm to suit the song, some can just give up. But your smiles still lingers in my head of how you danced to your song, your own love song.

Everybody knows, but nobody really knows, they all claim they saw it coming, but only the two of you can say for sure what happened on the day you decided to stop dancing.

What motivates me?

What motivates me?

What motivates me is the fact that I know there is so much to live for. What motivate me are my two blessings. Blessing bestowed upon me, blessing I cherish with my life. My two children are what make me want to wake up every morning.

Their peaceful sleeping faces when I go to switch off the light in their room. The fact that I have been trusted with two human beings in my care is what motivates me. When in time of doubt of my capabilities, they remind me that I can do anything I put my mind into. They remind me, that life is precious. What motivates me is when they hurt, and they come running to me, to make it all better. The knowledge of knowing a kiss can make a child feel better. Butterfly kisses as they grow older ashamed to kiss me in public, yet assuring me that they still love me.

What motivates me is the fact that I know I’m not perfect, yet in their eyes I am all the role model they look up to now. They are my world; however I know they will live me to be independent.  It is a rewarding feeling hearing thank you, I love you mom, and you’re the best mom in the whole world. Such words motivated me to want to do more. They might be small people, but they such a huge impact in my life. 

Conversations with Steven Bantu Biko…1

Conversations with Steven Bantu Biko…1

“It is better to die for an idea that will live, than to live for an idea that will die” Steve Biko

Amazing how you lived before your time Steve. You saw what would happen decades after your death. You spoke of Black consciousness, but not hatred, butyour critics decided to twist your ideologies,making you into some hating person. I grew up knowing you as a person who was forceful, a man who believed in violence.

Now Steve I read more about you, I am finding more about what you stood for and what you believed in. How you believe that a black child should liberate himself through education. How a black child should pride himself/herself. You believed that it is important to acknowledge your existencesamong other human being,but in order to successfully do that; you need to be comfortable in your own skin.

“We have set out on a quest for true humanity, and somewhere on the distant horizon we can see the glittering prize. Let us march forth with courage and determination, drawing strength from our common brotherhood. In time we shall be in the position to bestow upon South Africa the greatest gift possible, a mere human face” Steve Biko  You believed in humanity and you believed in human dignity.

Steve I have so many questions for you that no amount of writing can feel my curiosity on what you believed in. You didn’t hate white people, but hated the way they treated their fellow human beings. What is so barbaric with such humanity? Yet your death raised questions,maybe it was a known fact that you would have been a great leader and stood your ground. You would have taught us to take pride in our selves, stand up and be counted. Stop wanting government to do things for us, I believe you would have told us, no one owes anything. We own our lives, therefore cannot expect people to do things for us. You would have taken away this lazy idea of wanting free things. Oh Steve how heart breaking how the black child does not respect property, how violence has become the black child’s order of the day. You would tell us to wake up, and go to school and become better people.

Our leaders have fallen prey to greed, they are power hungry Steve, and they lost the plot a long time ago. They want to be paid for being in the struggle. Struggle is the magic word, and the ordinary citizen has been forgotten.  Oh yes we have made some progress, I’m glad I could go to any school.  I’m not saying you were a saint, but I want to believe you would have stuck to your core believes.

I think I have said enough for now Steve, I know I have so much more to share with you. For now I’ll stop here.

Try a cliche

Try a cliché

We might say we should stop repeatingclichés. However the very clichés we are trying to avoid carry so much meaning in our everyday lives.

Try a cliché go back to basic, go back to how things were done. Maybe by doing so we can see where we are going wrong. Trying what has been done before is not a bad idea at all, it might seem boring for the youth of today, however there must have been a good reason it was kept that long.

Well we mistaken going back and seeing why things were done the way they were done with being backwards. We miss the point of taking what we can; we miss the point of taking a cliché and using it in our present situations. We just want to rewrite all sayings on this earth without carrying about how we might be feeling at the moment. If we were to take time and look at the clichés used before us, we could learn a thing or two, instead of trying to flush all clichés down the drain.

Clichés are life’s lessons that were learned by those before us, they experienced what we experienced maybe not in the length that we experience it today.  We need to be still and try to find true meaning in clichés instead of mocking them. Take out the lessons that they teach us, we might surprise ourselves.