We are here for a reason

We are here for a reason

This isn’t the easiest thing to do. To let it all out and admit to the world that you don’t have it all figured out – that you don’t have your life together. That maybe in fact, you’ve been pretending that everything was ok, but deep down you knew that it wasn’t.

Exposing yourself like this is probably one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do – to share yourself openly, freely and let the people close to you know how you really feel.

But you know what’s even harder? Pretending to be something you’re not. Pretending to be happy when you’re not. Pretending to be someone that you’re not. That takes so much more energy and effort.

For some reason we’ve been taught to work hard to succeed. And sometimes we confuse working hard with doing what we hate and that leaves us unfulfilled. Your job isn’t to do what you hate – it’s to contribute in a way that ignites you, that fills you with joy. You’ve got to find what you enjoy doing and do more of it.

This blog serves to remind me and those close to me that we are here to contribute and make the world a better place. Just  because you don’t enjoy what you’re currently doing doesn’t give you a reason to do nothing. There is something that you’re here to do.

Babysitting

Babysitting

So, I’m chatting with a friend when I ask what she is currently doing. She tells me she is babysitting. Babysitting? I’m puzzled by this reply. I ask “who you babysitting?” and to my amusement she is babysitting her kids. This raised a question in me.

How are you babysitting your own children??? Is it not parenting when you are taking care of your own kids???

We have become selfish as human beings to the extent that we no longer even identify with our own God given responsibilities. We neglect that which has been given to us by God to nature. I am also guilty of this where I find myself passing on my responsibility of parenting to the nanny and school.

I think as young parents we need to start to have a look at ourselves and of how we are preparing the future leaders of our country, the future economists. What is it that we are investing in them precious little beings.

To this I say, we need to acknowledge parenting. When spending time with your kids you are not babysitting. You are parenting. Take pride in that for you are molding, nurturing the future. Let’s be more attentive of what we are giving back to the world out there.

Mshoza

Mshoza

Just had a look at the pictures of Mshoza. WOW! I am grossly wowed at it. yep, she done did it. She bleached herself from being a beautiful dark lady to something she would call “beautiful” closely resembling our all time legend Michael Jackson.

I keep wondering to myself, did she not see how our favorite Jackson looked at the end. Scary how we have become so obsessed with possession and money as human beings. We seem to to only want more, to be more beautiful, to be more powerful, to have the best of everything. Looking at her picture again I dismally fail in my attempt to place myself in her shoes to try and understand what on earth made her to come to such a decision. I can only blame the foolishness of youth.

I only wish she knew that youth is only but a phase and it shall pass, so does fashion and all this craziness of being beautiful and you are left with that which you have inside of you. That light inside of you is the one that moves you from one strength to another, from generation to generation. Its that genuine smile that makes you beautiful and makes a mark in the heart of others. It is your soul that touches us all.

Maya

Maya

Amazing how I have come to love another more than I sometimes believe I love myself. When its said people are a blessing, you have become something beyond that for me. To me you are a true reflection of God’s love to humanity.

I have learnt how to be a woman in your stride. In your stride of confidence in this journey of womanhood leaves me smiling and having a quirky laugh and giggle at the road I’m still to embark on of growing, aging, acquiring wisdom. When I look at you I am not afraid to grow. I know I will be wise, I know I will be strong, I know I will prosper. Surrounded by such love, beauty, patience, wisdom (the list goes on and on) and I have reason to believe beyond the benefit of any doubt that only the best lies ahead.

You are being loved for your gracefulness, your kindness, and most of all your love…

Oh dam, aren’t you a blessing!!

And am I blessed or what???

Keep inspiring J

The song: In the Arms of An Angel

The song: In the Arms of An Angel

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There's always some reason to feel not good enough

And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction, oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless, and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an Angel, fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees

In the arms of an Angel, far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

The first time I heard the song from the Movie City of Angels, it left me wondering why I would take life for granted, when there are people fighting to be alive. Yet in the song I find comfort that I cannot fear death, because I don’t know what awaits me. With that being said, I need not spend my life waiting for the day I depart from my flesh, but to enjoy the time that I am given. So that when my time comes, I have no fear, I have no unfinished business on this earth.

We have to live our lives truthfully and make the most of our lives and enjoy each day as if it was our last day.

Our children and technology

Our children and technology

I am not sure what to make of today’s fast moving world. Technology has become part of our children’s lives. They live it and they breathe it. Amazing how we want them to know how to use these gargets, yet most of the times they come back to bite us.

Our children are too exposed to things we never thought they were ready to be exposed to. Watching a violent or explicit video has become such an issue. Almost every child is exposed to adult material way before their maturity time. I sit and wonder what this advancement does to the innocence of our time. I wonder if their childhood can be enjoyed to the fullest. I respect that times are different and technology is the new thing, but we still have the right to be concerned as parents. Many children have been killed because of this technology, because of their innocent minds.

Yes I want my sons not to be left behind in terms of technology, but it’s also my responsibility to yield them from any harm this technology poses to them.

Of all the forms of courage, the ability to laugh is the most relaxing.

Of all the forms of courage, the ability to laugh is the most relaxing.

They say laughter is the best medicine. Even kings and queens ages ago believed in having their own clowns to make them laugh. Even they realised the importance of laughter. Even at their time, they knew that laughing was an important part of life, hence they went through extremes of having special people to make them laugh. They would do anything in their power to make them laugh.

We don’t realise the beauty that is in laughing, how one glows when they laugh. The laughter of a poor child is the most wonderful laughter ever. For me it symbolises that no matter how challenging laugh might be, but this gift of laughing is what I pride myself with.

The courage to laugh through tough times is the hardest thing anyone can ever do, but people find themselves laughing though it is tough. Such people have mastered the art of living. Living is all about taking please smells the smallest of flowers, laughing like a little child being excited by the most simple of things. Yet they still find joy in what we see as being simple. Yet their beautiful laugh touches our heart to the point that we find ourselves laughing too.

The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood trauma

The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood trauma

No matter the circumstances we can all rise above our past. Not all of us have had a rosy childhood; however we are all given the opportunity to make our own decisions later on in our lives.

We need to be brave and take charge of our lives, take our childhood traumas and turn them into victories. It is amazing how many famous have experienced abuse in their upbringing. So many people have had traumatic experiences, which would have easily traumatized them.  It is important not to let one’s past experience destroy one’s future. Life is all about self-discovery and we need to know that things will happen, but through it all, we must never give up on life, no matter how traumatic our experiences are.

Be bold and shine, be the best you want to be. Take that bad experience and share it with those around you, your traumatic experience might just save someone’s life, give hope to a lost soul.

Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid

Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid

In life we have fears about trying new things and going places. We have fears of who we truly are, we fear the strength within, we would rather deal with our fears.

It is true that the universe only conspires to help us. It is only when we believe that things start happening to us. It is only when we look deep inside that we are shown who we truly are.  The world views us the way we feel, the way we show them. The world draws our attitude from the way we are. So why cheat ourselves and not show the world how wonderful we are. Why not take the bold stand and be what you want the world to see in you.

There really is no need to be looked down on you, because the universe reflects who we really are and what we offer those around us. There is no point in acting all so small, be bold take that leap. Be that dancer you’ve always wanted to be, all you need to do is stay true to what you truly desire.

The last Lecture

The last Lecture

One would have thought it would be just joy all the way for the last day of lecture. Strange enough, it is not so. It is sad to realize that we might not be seeing some people that we have come to know as our class mates. People we’ve laughed cried and stressed with over the years.

The last lecture is always filled with mixed emotions of people excited that finally the year is over, but also sadness that we won’t be laughing as we usually do. Life at school has become an escape for some of us. Sharing of ideas and the helping hand from our fellow classmates. Is an experience that can’t be explained to anyone.

The last lecture sums up the journey that we’ve travelled the journey of self discovery. We have learned so much from each other, from our different cultures to our unique ways of doing things. Sure it might not be the last lecture in our lives, but it sure is the last lecture with the people that we know.

Watch this space.

Watch this space.

I’m on my way, there’s so much more where all that energy comes from. This girl is destined for bigger things.

This is not the   last you see of her, she’s out there to make a difference. Don’t look down on her, for she’s a go getter. You just watch the space and see what   she has in store for you. Ohh heard people say, there she goes, all in her dreadlocks, wonder what she has to offer. Oh my all to your surprise she’s dynamite. Listen to her speak and you’ll be mesmerised by her words.

She speaks yet your fall in love with her words, you will want her to talk all the time.  You better watch out you negative people, because she’s on her way to turn you into a positive thing person.

Don’t  say I didn’t warn you, just watch the space.

Never too late

Never too late

I’m currently reading an interesting book SUCCESS one day at a time, by John C Maxwell. John C. Maxwell is a renowned motivational speaker on leadership.

When a friend gave me this book, I was advised that it’s easy to read and that I should read and reflect on each of the inspiring stories. There’s a story that touched my heart at this moment in time in my life.

It’s a story of Robert Lopatina man who never dared to give up on his childhood dream. Robert’s dream was to become a doctor, but instead he joined a family business with his father. So for twenty seven years he worked in the business, and when they sold their business, he had options of retiring and living off the money.

His childhood dream was awakened by a young man he met at a friend’s wedding, who had just finished at medical school. At the age of fifty one, he decided to study medicine and by the age of fifty five, he graduated from medical school.

What inspired me about this story, was the determination of Robert, how he didn’t let age stand in his way. How he went on to pursue his dream, despite his age. In many cases we are discouraged from reaching our potential or are told we are too old to do what we truly want to do. However here is a man, who still believed in a dream, who dared to keep the dream alive.

A powerful quote by Stella Stuart-

Behind me is infinite power.

Before me is endless possibility.

Around me is boundless opportunity.

Why should I fear?

Why I have conversations?

Why I have conversations?

Having conversations with other people is a good way of broadening one’s knowledge. However I also believe in having conversations with myself and with God.

My conversations with God are private and very sacred to me; they hold a special place and have deep meaning in my life. Conversations with my creator, awakens the spiritual side of me, which is often left unattended for some time. Such conversations bring me closer to feeling the connection with God. These conversations, reminds me that I merely a human, given the wisdom to be as productive as I choose to be on this earth, however they remind me, that I have a spiritual part.

Such conversations are more meaningful to me, as I get to be calm, I learn to be still, and listen all around me. Listen to what nature has to tell me. Such conversations, makes me believe that I have a greater purpose on this earth, that I have more potential than I credit myself with.

I have conversations to remind me that I have a dream and that I can’t give up. I am reminded that in life it is not about winning the race, but rather being part of the race and making it to the finishing line. That no matter how many times one felt like quieting before that finishing line, they don’t give up.

My goals

My goals

My assignment to write down my goals, ranging from 1 year, two years and three years, proved to be a challenging task than I had imagined. It is amazing that when we asked to truly reflect what we desire, it’s hard to articulate, yet we know we have the edge to achieve in our life time. It took me a long time to write my goals, partly because I had so much guilt on time I feel had been wasted, but also because it took me the best part of the week to work out how to set achievable goals.

I feel my challenge with writing down my goals was I never did set myself goals, as such. Instead, I had just one singular objective: to work and earn money. That’s all I wanted to do. It’s what I was working towards. I confused the two terms, Goal and Target. Here are a couple of relevant definitions from dictionary.com.

Although the dictionary could not give me the difference that became clear to me

Target: a goal to be reached.

Goal: the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.

Within a space of a week, my understanding has never been this clear about my goals.

1year Goal

First my target is to find a job that will help me set my goal for the first 12 months. My goal is to find a position that will put me in a forward-moving company with solid performance and future projections. As part of a team, I want to add value and continue to grow the company. I would also need to work hard at my position, so to learn and gain as much experience that is needed to be productive and see visible growth. I also want to learn and gain as much experience that is needed to master my job.

2^nd year Goal

My 2year goal will depend on where the company goes. My plan is to move into a position of responsibility where I can lead a team.

3^rd year Goal

By the third year I feel I would be comfortable in working and being part of a team. Now I feel I would be confident in saying ,  I’m a very driven, ambitious person – but if I don’t have a plan of what I’m trying to accomplish, I end up expending energy in many different directions. So my third years I want to see myself in a prominent position in the company, having have finished my Honours degree as well. 

I now feel my goals are becoming clearer, hoping that I reach my target that I set for myself so I can pave way for my goals. I sure do hope that my writing made sense to you while reading it, as I am still finding my feet in the whole career part of my life. I bet if I were to be asked to do the very same exercise in the next few months, I would become more sure and confident.

“He who fails to plan is planning to fail.” Winston Churchill

Write your bucket list/100 things to do before you die?

Write your bucket list/100 things to do before you die?

Ohhh, wow now let me count my bucket list, what want to do and what I aspire to accomplish in this one life time that is guaranteed. I’m really not sure about the next life time and what might be.

1.       Go on a road trip

2.       Go backpacking

3.       Live through 4 seasons of the year – Spring, summer, autumn, winter

4.       Read a book on a subject you’d never have thought of reading

5.       Go bungee jumping

6.       Fly a plane

7.       Get to work for a charity organisation

8.       Be involved in helping the homeless and part of a major project

9.       Sing on stage with thousands of fans watching

10.   Deliver the greatest speech that will touch people’s lives

11.   Have a positive influence to those around me

12.   Go on holiday and get swiped off by a total stranger

13.   Save money to travel for a year

14.   Experience Africa and its beauty

15.   Learn to speak  Greek

16.   Walk on the Chines Wall

17.   Make sure my son’s get to live their dreams

18.   Hold my grandchildren

19.   Go on a romantic gate away with the love of my life

20.   Go on a retreat session for six months

21.   Swim in the ocean in the middle of the night

22.   Sleep under the stars with no fear

23.   Climb Kilimanjaro

24.   Be a good chef

25.   Build my mom the house of her dreams

26.   To work hard and contribute to society, so that my legacy stays long after I’m gone

27.   Laugh all day, for no apparent reason and enjoy

28.   Hold a new born baby every morning  for a month

29.   Read a book that  every day for one full year(365 days)

30.   Acquire the taste of red wine

31.   To ululate  at both my sons graduation days

32.   To go on a roller coaster without the fear of vomiting

33.   Tell intsomi(bed time stories) to children the way my grandmother shared them with us

34.   Learn how to dance tango

35.   Host my own tv show

36.   Donate to schools that need the help

37.   Build my dream holiday home

38.   Go to Greece and experience their rich history

39.   Go to Scott land and listen to their music(just like in Brave heart)

40.   Run in the comrades marathon

41.   Learn sign language

42.   Educate as much people as I can about albinism

43.   Adopt a baby girl

44.   Write and publish my book

45.   I want to work with international charity organisations

46.   I want to feed my spirituality

47.   I want to love in abundance

48.   I want to look after my health and stay fit

49.   I want to learn a musical instrument

50.   I want to laugh out loud

What happens when they leave?

What happens when they leave?

Children are the world’s greatest gift, because they are part of this life and we have children, they have children, and so the rule of mother nature continues.

You remember the first time you touch each and every one of them, the joy that filled your heart. They were precious, fragile and wanted your protection. From that day you vowed with yourself as a parent that you would safe guard them, until they could fend for themselves. However that is not always the case.  We love our children and live for them, every decision we make while they are young revolves around them. We find our lives based on what is best for our children, and sacrifices are made along the way. Not that it’s a bad thing; however some of our decisions come back later on.

We forget that we are grooming adults and that they will soon leave the nest and go into the wild to find ways of surviving. That can open a void for a parent, because now  one is left alone in the house, no children to drive around. As parents the house starts being lonely and you feel lost, some parents even go for therapy, to help them cope and adjust to their new lives. The fact that they won’t call you as often as you would like them too, hurts and makes one feel lonely.

So I have decided to live now and have a life too, so I don’t resent them and blame them for dreams that were lost along the way. I need a purpose, so when it’s time for them to leave the nest, I can wish them well, as teary as I would be. It would bring me comfort knowing that I’ll look forward to my space and embrace my next phase, in my journey of life.

My big fat BIG dream.

My big fat BIG dream.

My big fat big dream, so much comes to mind, however my biggest of dreams would be to see a united South Africa. I know you’re most probably thinking, I’m crazy, but it’s my big dream. I have this dream that if we could be a united South Africa, wonderful things would start happening in our country.

Right now South Africa is dived by so many things. We are divided by racial factors, sexism, ethnicity, social levels and religion. We all pride our self for this beautiful, a land of opportunity for all, if we could learn to get along. If we could put those differences aside and focus more on our common goal as a country. My dream  of seeing a South Africa that uses its natural resources that belongs to all those who claim it.

My dream is to make sure that our children live in a South Africa that lifts up the flag in pride, who sing their National Anthem with pride, understanding the deep meaning of the song. Respecting that our flag represents us all and that the National Anthem seeks to unify us and Knowing that South African people accept and respect each other’s individual’s view.

My big fat Big dream is unity, with no fear, discrimination of any sort, but one goal that makes us a patriotic South Africa.

Conventional is a good fallback position isn’t it?

Conventional is a good fallback position isn’t it?

I actually don’t want to think of myself as being a conventional woman, because I think I do things differently. In fact I not your conventional woman, while I might enjoy the kitchen and being a mother.

I enjoy being crazy and doing what makes me happy, not doing everything by the book. Being conventional is safe; it secures one’s heart making them believe that they are doing everything that is expected of them.  However doing routine and what is expected of you, always puts one on the safe side and makes them feel comfort in knowing that they are safe.

So I suppose we can go crazy and act as we please, but when things go bad, we go back to being conventional. This is a perfect way to position ourselves and be accepted in society.

2011 for me

This year might have not yet come to an end, but it is safe to highlight events in it.

1.       January my kids went back to school

2.       February I lost my nephew, well it is safe to say my family lost a dear child, a cousin, a grandchild and a friend to all those who knew warm heart. This month in 2011 tested my faith and my spirituality, for I have never felt such pain.

3.       March, we laid my nephew to rest, since he passed away on the 27^th of February. March was yet heavy to the heart. This was truly a testing month, waking up, knowing I’ll never see my nephew again, took its tow on me.

4.       April, the month of my graduation, I had mixed emotions. My husband couldn’t make it to my graduation and I was disappointed as he has been with me thru my journey. It was still a proud moment, an achievement worth celebrating.

5.       May is my birthday month so it is automatically that I treat this month with favour.

6.       June, school work an pressure to perform, what a hectic month.  An emotional month in the family, where we had to perform a ritual of sharing my nephew’s clothes. Symbolic to the end of our grieving, so that we could try to find peace in his passing away. Strange enough, the day was a fun family event. We got to share jokes and stories about him, instead of tears.

7.       July  was just a month, can’t really single out an event

8.       August, my cousin left for Pretoria/Tshwane,I was very happy for her achievement, but sad that she was going away.

This year thus far, has had its fair of share of sadness, but I have not lost faith that good things are still to come.

You can’t chase two rabbits at the same time

You can’t chase two rabbits at the same time

The old saying goes:  If you chase two rabbits, both will escape. With today’s modern times we find ourselves forced to chase two rabbits at the same time.

As much as we find ourselves chasing two rabbits all the time, it is very hard to catch them at the same time. You might have caught one, and the other one runs away. Multi tasking comes with a heavy price most of the times. This especially impacts on the modern woman, who wants to do it all. I mean achieve her career goals and still be the perfect wife and mother. Women are tired of just chasing one rabbit, or at times are forced to chase more than one rabbit.

It has become doable, but at a price in most cases, as a focused career woman cannot focus as much as she would want to in raising her children. It was made easy for women in the days gone by, however it also marginalized them, as it limited them from powerful positions in societies around the world. So it was up to a few women to start by showing other women across the world that it can be done.

So if I were to be asked about catching two rabbits at the same time, I would say, depends if you want to hold both the rabbits dearly in your arms.  

Cross your heart and hope to die

Cross your heart and hope to die

Keeping secrets is proving to be a challenge for the average person. It can be that lawyers, doctors and Priest in the Roman Catholic are bound by some very strict rules. If you ask an ordinary person to keep a secret, it really is asking way too much.

Now if we look at secrets we expect people to carry to the grave for us, it can be a bit too much to carry. Besides we are humans, and some information’s just bottles up inside of us and we just want to burst. So next time you want to share a secrete with a friend, ask yourself if you are being fare by expecting them to keep such a burning issue to themselves. Please don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with trusting a friend, but don’t judge a friend if they happen to spill the beans, depending to whom though. Perhaps it became too much for them to bear and they just had to burst out and share it.

Maybe next time try telling two people, and alert them both that you share with them, and they should feel free to discuss the issue at hand, should they feel a burning desire. A burning secretes can cause you stress and that is not good for the heart.

Your secret is safe with me…shhhh

“Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you only have one idea” (Alain)

“Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you only have one idea” (Alain)

Well this quote is what it is and it says what it says. We all have ideas, we all have dreams, and we all aspire for greatness.

In my opinion, having one idea limits us to more possibilities that are right in front of us, Having one business one idea can prove to be dangerous than having more than one business idea. However one might argue that if you really want that one ide to come true, then stick to it, give it your everything. So maybe one can have one idea, but then they would have to spend the rest of their life turning that idea into a reality.

In my little mind ideas are with us all the time, but then again maybe, just maybe the many ideas that roam around our heads can be dangerous, because we don’t know how to channel them.  Those ideas can easily mislead as they make us believe we have more than enough time, trying out each and every idea.  Perhaps,we need not relax with an idea, rather act on the idea, and give the idea life. You might just find out that that idea is dying to be out there to live.

Our world grows every day because of ideas; it’s a process of thought, then and idea, being turned into action. So maybe we should try having more ideas than one, but quickly act on them.

Fantasy Holiday

Fantasy Holiday

They say dreams do come true, oh well I haven’t given up on going on a super fun holiday.

I want to go to some Caribbean Island for a fun filled holiday, where I can just let go and discover the person I didn’t know existed in me. OK, I’ll have to admit movies can be very influential hey,but what have I got too loose in dreaming about a fun filled break.

I want two weeks where I can just have fun in abundance. My first week would be filled with craziness with my two best girls. We’ll go partying, tasting each and everything on the Island. The week would be filled with sleepless nights. I would want to go on bout trips, enjoy their sunsets. Play at the beach in the middle of the night without fear of being mugged or some crap like that, Experience their exotic foods and life. Appreciate their cultures and the way they do things.

Then my 2^nd week would be spending in India, yes influenced by movies, but in truth there’s something peaceful about India. This week would be spent mostly in meditating and listening to my inner voice, finding my inner peace. I would go to their holy places, and get lost in a world of simplicity. My trip here would be to connect with my spirituality, which tends to be neglected so much. I would learn to be still and not fear stillness. I know this place has slums that are heart breaking, but I guess even the people in living in such conditions in India would help me find the world of tranquillity.

Yes my fantasy holiday stand at that for now, I might wake up with a different fantasy, but right now, I know this is where I would love to see myself discover some magic.